Penned: 12/03/2003

(enter Giles)
Giles: Hum de dum de dum! I am humming merrily and walking down the street on an early Tuesday evening in Bath. Oh, it's such a lovely night!
Anonymous vampire: Hey! I'm going to sire you!
Giles: Oh no! ::ensue Giles running down the street, but, as is often the case, he is accidentally hit on the head... this time when an orbiting satellite happens to crash to earth::
Anonymous vampire: Heh heh heh! I am evil and will sire Giles!
::Anonymous vampire sires Giles. He is dancing from such gleed that he accidentally backs into a tree and stakes himself::
Anonymous vampire: Drat! ::poof::
Vamp-Giles, waking up: Well, well, well. I am a vampire and evil. Bully for me. Oh look, a cow! I shall kill the cow as my first evil act and make pants from it!
Cow: Oh, forget it, sweetcheeks. Don't bother. Here, just take the leather. ::cow hands him her skin:: It's a service ot the world to let you make leather pants! ::cow ambles away, looking for all the world like one of those butcher diagrams but still merrily chewing her cud::
Vamp-Giles: Ha! With my new vampiric speed, I have made pants of the leather in three seconds!
::camera pans slowly over Giles's leather-clad derriere. It then pans back again slowly. It's about to go back to his face, but instead pans once more::
Vamp-Giles: Ahem.
::camera behaves itself::
Vamp-Giles: Thank you. Oh! First I shall accost this fortune teller wearing the very ugly kerchief.
Gypsy: You insulted my kerchief! I curse you with a soul!
::Gypsy runs away as, oddly, Stevie Nicks is heard singing "Gypsy" in the background::
Souled-Vamp-Giles: Oh, dear! I am grief stricken for all the evil things I have done since I have been sired! Things like... ehm... yes... well, I didn't thank the cow. I can't bring myself to feel badly about the kerchief comment as it was quite true. I don't really have much basis for my grief, do I?
Whistler: Nope.
Souled-Vamp-Giles: Where did you come from?
Whistler: Wherever I been. Anyway, we've come to the conclusion that whether we picked Spike or Angel, the loser would rip the winner's head off, so there's no point in shanshuing either of them. Want to be human again?
Souled-Vamp-Giles: Oh! It's been my dream for the last minute!
Whistler: Okay. ::whammies him:: Have a nice day.
Giles: Well, that was rather odd. Where was I? Oh, yes, it's a lovely night in Bath. Hum de dum de dum, tra la la.
(exeunt Giles, tripping happily down the street once more)

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